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Top 5 songs that WON'T get you LAID

topic posted Mon, December 29, 2003 - 4:33 PM by  M
These are BAD choices to play once you get her/him back to your place late night. In other words, you'll end up sleeping alone if any of these are your "GO TO" songs.

1.) Mr. Big- To Be With You...Ok, these guys never got laid, and there hit song proves this fact. A bad choice to play latenight.

2.) Steve Miller- Abracadabra.... "I want to reach out and grab you" Come On! What Cheese!

3.) Gerardo-Rico Suave....Enough Said.

4.)LL Cool J- Anything in his catalog....What is the buzz about this guy. Overrated and won't get you laid.

5.)Night Ranger- Sister Christian....WOW! What a shitslopper of a ballad! Horrible!
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M
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  • dust...
    dustbunny
    offline 6

    Re: Top 5 songs that WON'T get you LAID

    Fri, January 23, 2004 - 1:27 PM
    Hi! I couldn't believe my luck when I found this group ...


    1. Devo ~ (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction
    2. Merle Haggard ~ It's Not Love But It's Not All Bad
    3. Meatloaf ~ Paradise by the Dashboard Light
    4. Wally Pleasant ~ Wonderful Sex
    5. Iggy Pop ~ I Wanna Be Your Dog (err, I might have to rethink that one ...)
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  • Unsu...
     

    Re: Top 5 songs that WON'T get you LAID

    Fri, January 23, 2004 - 9:40 PM
    1) Tori Amos ~ anything off 'Little Earthquakes' (tried it...the mood is blown when she starts talking about how she hasnt bled yet)
    2) Queensryche ~ 'i don't believe in love'
    3) Bad Company ~ 'feel like makin' love'
    4) Elton John ~ 'crocodile rock'
    5) BOC ~ 'don't fear the reaper'
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    • M
      M
      offline 20

      Re: Top 5 songs that WON'T get you LAID

      Fri, January 23, 2004 - 10:46 PM
      When looking at a tune like "Feel Like Making Love", obviously it is cheesy "cock rock" that wouldn't give you a chance at intimacy with anyone who is intelligent. However, this country is choke full of Busch drinking, flannel wearing, gitano jean sporting, camaro driving hill jacks. I could just see some ass clown bringing a girl named tammy home to wine & dine her to some Busch beer, pretzel rods, and some good ol "Feel Like Making Love" to set the mood. YEEEEHAAAAAAWWW BABY!!!!!
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      • Unsu...
         

        Re: Top 5 songs that WON'T get you LAID

        Fri, January 23, 2004 - 10:49 PM
        Actually, there's a version of "Feel Like Makin' Love" that's part of a medley with Donna Summers' "I Feel Love", performed by a lesbian folk group no less, that's pretty freakin' sexy.
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  • Shady
    Shady
    offline 298

    Re: Top 5 songs that WON'T get you LAID

    Mon, January 9, 2006 - 10:10 AM
    5. Foreigner - Waiting For A Girl Like You
    4. REO Speedwagon - Keep On Loving You
    3. Asia - Heat of the Moment
    2. AC/DC - Let Me Put My Love Into You
    1. Loverboy - Hot Girls In Love

    OK, so with the possible exception of AC / DC any song by ANY of those bands would pretty much insure an instant limp-on and destroy any conceivable mood other than pure absurd irony... I think the litmus test is pretty clear... anyone who'd get hot hearing any of those songs is no person I want to risk getting nekkid with. If mood music could be measured on a scale, those songs are like the polar opposites of Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On." I'd feel more romantic / sexy dressing up in spandex and platform boots and dancing around to "God of Thunder" by KISS.
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    • Shady
      Shady
      offline 298

      Re: Top 5 songs that WON'T get you LAID

      Mon, January 9, 2006 - 10:14 AM
      the song Sister Christian by Night Ranger and the notorious REO Classic "I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore" would have made my list if they weren't already listed. Aldo Nova's "Life is Just A Fantasy" ought to get some sort of Honorable Mention. As should the entire discographies of Hall and Oates and Barry Manilow.
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  • Ted
    Ted
    offline 80

    Re: Top 5 songs that WON'T get you LAID

    Mon, January 9, 2006 - 4:20 PM
    Harvester of Sorrow - Metallica
    My Companion - The Shaggs
    Love is a Fist - Mr. Bungle
    Let's Get It On by Marvin Gaye won't be so effective after you tell her that Marvin wrote it to seduce a 16-year old girl, when he was 36.
    Broken Hearts Are For Assholes - Frank Zappa
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    • Theo...
      Theotch son of Beotch
      offline 63

      Re: Top 5 songs that WON'T get you LAID

      Thu, January 19, 2006 - 4:16 PM
      i dare any of you to even attempt haveing sex while listening to "the saftey dance" by the infamous "men without hats"... i just don't even think it's possible, no matter how hot for each other you are...
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      • Shady
        Shady
        offline 298

        Re: Top 5 songs that WON'T get you LAID

        Thu, January 19, 2006 - 6:11 PM
        maybe that's the secret to the safety dance. it was a "safe sex" subliminal message to the youth of our generation.

        last weekend i was at a friends house and watching late night tv when an ad for one of those freedom rock type compilations came on the radio. it was for "power ballads" and it listed all the nightmare hair metal rock ballads of the '80s. i can nearly guarantee that if someone wants to take vows of celibacy and make 'em stick all they gotta do is go out and buy that box set and keep it in the stereo as mood music. anytime a potential temptation comes along, all ya gotta do to get the potential lust monkey from making a move is hit play on the stereo s/he will go bolting for the door before your chastity is foresaken.
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      • Shady
        Shady
        offline 298

        Re: Top 5 songs that WON'T get you LAID

        Thu, January 19, 2006 - 6:14 PM
        not content to list just five, VH1 inadvertantly compiled 25 songs that won't get you laid:

        VH1's Top 25 Power Ballads

        1. Open Arms - Journey
        2. I Don't Want to Miss a Thing - Aerosmith
        3. Beth - KISS
        4. With Arms Wide Open - Creed
        5. I'll Be There for You - Bon Jovi
        6. November Rain - Guns N' Roses
        7. Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison
        8. Love Bites - Def Leppard
        9. Sister Christian - Night Ranger
        10. Is This Love - Whitesnake
        11. Nothing Else Matters - Metallica
        12. Home Sweet Home - Mötley Crüe
        13. Again - Lenny Kravitz
        14. Keep on Loving You - REO Speedwagon
        15. I Remember You - Skid Row
        16. How You Remind Me - Nickelback
        17. These Dreams - Heart
        18. Don't Know What You Got (Till It's Gone) - Cinderella
        19. Only God Knows Why - Kid Rock
        20. Love Song - Tesla
        21. Silent Lucidity - Queensrÿche
        22. Still Loving You - Scorpions
        23. It's Been Awhile - Staind
        24. When It's Love - Van Halen
        25. Close My Eyes Forever - Lita Ford, w/Ozzy Osbourne
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  • Betcha
    Betcha
    offline 16

    Re: Top 5 songs that WON'T get you LAID

    Tue, July 8, 2008 - 5:04 PM
    "5.)Night Ranger- Sister Christian....WOW! What a shitslopper of a ballad! Horrible!"
    It is possible to get laid to this song...;-)
    ". Keep On Lovin' You - REO Speedwagon "
    And this one too.
    "5.) The entire soundtrack to 'Footloose'."
    And this
    "3) Bad Company ~ 'feel like makin' love'"
    "5) BOC ~ 'don't fear the reaper'"
    And these

    And...the list goes on and on. You guys need to stop making excuses, lol, and get with the game. It doesn't matter if it is one of the best songs ever written, some people get in the mood from these songs and hey..if I am interested in them and this gets them in the mood...why bitch?
    Betcha
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    • Arca...
      Arcangel
      offline 182

      Re: Top 5 songs that WON'T get you LAID

      Wed, July 16, 2008 - 3:34 AM
      "Fuck Like A Beast" by W.A.S.P
      "Wang Dang Sweet Poon Tang" by Ted Nugent
      "Run To The Hills" by Iron Maiden
      "I Wanna Destroy You" by The Circle Jerks
      "Hurt" by NIN

      I love these groups...but....when it comes to getting laid? I seriously doubt that these songs would get ya laid!! LOL!!!
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